Emotionally, I’m strong. That’s something that has always characterized me, that strength. To be able to get up after everything and blow the dust away as if nothing had happened, to piece the most complicated puzzle together, to shoulder the world and still have mental strength for my own problems. I was undeniable, unbreakable. But with him, I didn’t have to be strong. He was strong for me. He offered that support and comfort I’d always had to give myself.  He was the only person I’d ever been able to let my guard down on, to depend on, to need, and when he left, I fell. I didn’t have my strength. For the first time I found myself so weak that I let myself break, let myself shatter into a million pieces, and then cut myself on the shards. I found the one puzzle I seemingly could never put together, myself. And nonetheless, in the impossibility of it, I’m still trying to piece it together. I’m still trying to solve my own puzzle.


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